The reason why my two sons stay in our house all throughout the day is because we are on this chaos of global health issue regarding CoviD-19 or corona virus. School was suspended and in Macau, we all do homeschooling. I mean, the students are all doing their assignments on computer only. It is not easy coz for them it’s kinda boring. But we don’t have choice. We value education and I value my boys education. I sit with them if I know their assignments and I am trying to remember those math facts. lol 😂 I make sure they read and study their lessons even if it is homeschooling. And teach them that education often goes beyond books.
I am a single mom parenting two boys who are now going to their puberty age. I would say parenting them is hard and challenging, but it is a blessing to be with them. For me, parenting is like lightning speed. It goes fast. I mean, look at their picture. My babies are now all grown-up and ready to take and conquer the world. Loving them for who they are is one of the commandments of God. Parenting them is hard and it may never ever be perfect, but it’s real and simple, especially when we ask God for help.
I always tell them good night and I love you. I let them know that I love them so so much. They know, they roll their eyes, they may not even listen, but those I love you’s add up and add up and add up. When they are a little child until now, I taught them the three magic words. I love you, thank you, and I am sorry. Now the funny scenario is during bedtime; it takes 11 seconds or more to say goodnight to me (hahaha), especially my eldest son. But I do love them both
I don’t always have the answers; I just listen and tell them to trust God in every situation. I think to be a parent is to just hear them and not always give solutions. Sometimes they need our shoulder and to know that we are there no matter what for them. Sure the problem may seem small, but in their world it’s huge. We just need to be there and be a friend to them.
While I am with them I turn off our phone for just a bit or put it on mute or turn off notification. A choice to be present is very important to our children and everyone of us. I set rules in our house that when we are eating or watching a movie together or when we are playing board games, our mobile phones are all set on silent modes, or our gadgets are far from us. I am willing to be silly. Or laugh. Or dance.Or just be with them. Life doesn’t have to follow the obvious rules and patterns. I usually give them moments of surprise, joy, and unexpected delight in the midst of normals. Little things, really matter…a lot…I wear and use the things they give me. I look them in their eyes and tell them thank you for making my life beautiful. I believe they recognize my act of being thankful. Our life is full of serious, hard, challenging, and trying moments. Let their lives be sprinkled with moments of laughter and joy, and happiness. Not only will they love it, but we’ll be profoundly grateful for that moment. I want to see their world. I am trying to get down on their level. I embrace the noise. Just for a bit. Kids are exuberant. They are moments of laughter, silliness, and noise within our house. I encourage them to dream. Adults live in a world of rules and realities and we’ve lost that dreaming bit of us. Learn from our children and dream again.
I give them perspective. I let them see the world. During this coronavirus, we got a chance to bond in the marketplace (wet and dry market) and my eldest son learned to be more responsible in the house. I help them develop a heart of empathy and serving others. I make their posture not be only about me first, but rather a hearts where they see the hearts of others as well. By the grace of God I teach them to be humble. That U comes first before I.
Being a breast cancer survivor I am trying to be brave and strong. I work hard, fight hard and give much.I will stand up for them even if means being the only one speaking up. Sometimes it doesn’t match with what their want. Sometimes they may be mad at me and hate me in the process. I must rise up, fight for them and in that process I give them much love. I love them unconditionally.They’ll mess up. Just like I did but I love them without conditions. I set goals and plans, but also grace for the moments where we all fall down. And let them fall. They’ll never learn how to stand up until they fall. I share with them what I love. I play music, I teach them about music. I listen to music, I let them listen to my kinda music as well. I want them to cultivate their gifts that God give them. What a blessing it is for children to see them sharing their gifts or talent in us. Both of them love and like music so I listen to what music they like. I teach them that their worth isn’t based on externals. Like what they wear, what electronics they have, what parties they’re invited to, and many more. Their worth is deeper. Their true identity can be found on God alone. I start teaching them as young as they are, this principle never stop. Even when they’re grown.I lead them to God and I disciple them.
I think the most bittersweet part of my parenting, and yet the most powerful is to let them try new things, push them to believe in their dreams, and then, let them go.
I love my boys. I give them time. I forgive and forget. I give hugs and kisses. I listen and learn. Above all I push them closer to God.