To change the defects in our life, we have to have people in our life who tell us the truth. We’re not going to get well on our own; we’re going to need other people in our life. We’re going to need support. Change requires honest people. 

There are some things in our life we're never ever going to be able to change on our own, typically the things that are the most difficult in our life and that we don’t want anybody else to know about.

We’re never getting over those things until we share them with someone. We don’t have to tell everybody. We just need to find one person who will trust us and whom we trust — someone who will be confidential, love us unconditionally, not be judgmental, and pray for us. Revealing our feeling is the beginning of healing. This does not mean a people where we get together on a superficial level and everyone is “fine” or “doing great.” We have to get to the level of maturity in our relationship where we can say, “I had a tough week this week. Life stinks. Here’s what happened.”

We belong in the family of God, and every other believer belongs to us. We cannot become until we belong. We can’t become what God wants us to be until we belong to people that’s going to have gut-level honest relationship. Talk to our friend. If we are serious about changing the deepest hang-ups in our heart, the deepest defects in our life, we’re going to have to face the fear of being honest. We’ve got to be real.

We can go through life with one of two choices: pretending like we’ve got it all together or getting it all together. But we’ll never get it all together as long as we pretend we’ve got it all together. And we’re never going to get well, get healed, get rid of that area that’s bugging us in our life until we talk to someone about it.