Disposable? Is there such thing like disposable relationships? I know there are disposable objects like diapers, tissues, party plates and fork and spoon and many others are all dispossable. But in relationship i don’t really like to apply that word. Would you? I see many couples getting divorced these days, i am one of those 😂 and even many family members not speaking with each other. A lifelong marriage (“till death do us part”) and any other enduring relationship is founded on commitment. The commitment to work things out whenever they get rough (and every relationship had its moments of “rough”). We have forgotten the principle that “everything has value.” When a toaster breaks, we buy a new one. When a shirt tears, we get a new one. How do we carry this into our relationships? When our marriage is dull, do we get a new one? When we have misunderstanding with our friends do we shut them down? When we don’t like the attitude of our family do we escape and look for another?

Relationships are always worth restoring. Because life is all about learning how to love. God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict. Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.We must get along with each other.

We must learn to be a peacemakers. Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work.The purpose of our life on earth is to learn how to love and relate to others, peacemaking is one of the most important skills we can develop. Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict. Running from a problem, pretending it doesn’t exist, or being afraid to talk about it is actually cowardice. Sometimes we need to avoid conflict, sometimes we need to create it, and sometimes we need to resolve it. Peacemaking is also not appeasement. Always giving in, acting like a doormat, and allowing others to always run over us. Can we restore a broken relationships? or rather Do you want to be restore? or We just want a disposable relationship? Are we the problem? Are we unrealistic, insensitive, or too sensitive? God has called us to settle our relationships with each other. We talk to God before talking to the person. We discuss the problem with God. All our relationships would go smoother if we would just pray more about them. We tell God our frustrations. We cry out to him. He’s never surprised or upset by our anger, hurt, insecurity, or any other emotions.So tell him exactly how we feel. Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God. When we expect anyone a friend, spouse, boss, or family member to meet a need that only God can fulfill, we are setting ourself up for disappointment and bitterness. No one can meet all of our needs except God. Always take the initiative. It doesn’t matter whether we are the offender or the offended. God expects us to make the first move. Don’t wait for the other party. Go to them first. Restoring broken fellowship is so important. When fellowship is strained or broken, plan a peace conference immediately. Don’t procrastinate, make excuses, or promise “I’ll get around to it someday.” Schedule a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. Delay only deepens resentment and makes matters worse. In conflict, time heals nothing; it causes hurts to fester. Acting quickly also reduces the spiritual damage to us. The success of a peace conference often depends on choosing the right time and place to meet. Don’t meet when either of us are tired or rushed or will be interrupted. The best time is when we both are at our best.

Sympathize with each others feelings. Use our ears more than our mouth. Before attempting to solve any disagreement we must first listen to people’s feelings. Let us look out for one another’s interests, not just for our own. It’s like a telescope and a microscope.Using this instruments pay close attention to a certain objects. In the same way focus on each other feelings, not the facts. Begin with sympathy, not solutions.

Don’t try to talk ­people out of how they feel at first. Just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive. Nod that we understand even when we don’t agree. Feelings are not always true or logical. In fact, resentment makes us act and think in foolish ways. Patience comes from wisdom, and wisdom comes from hearing the perspective of others. Listening says, “I value your opinion, I care about our relationship, and you matter to me.” The cliché is true: ­People don’t care what we know until they know we care. To restore relationships “we must bear the ‘burden’ of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others. Confess our part of the conflict. If we are serious about restoring a relationship, we should begin with admitting our own mistakes or sin. Since we all have blind spots, we may need to ask a third party to help us evaluate our own actions before meeting with the person with whom we have a conflict. Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Often the way we handle a conflict creates a bigger hurt than the original problem itself. When you begin by humbly admitting our mistakes, it defuses the other person’s anger and disarms their attack because they were probably expecting us to be defensive. Don’t make excuses or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part we have played in the conflict. Accept responsibility for our mistakes and ask for forgiveness.

Attack the problem, not the person. We cannot fix the problem if we’re consumed with fixing the blame. We must choose between the two. We will never get our point across by being cross, so choose our words wisely. A soft answer is always better than a sarcastic one.

In resolving conflict, how we say it is as important as what we say. If we say it offensively, it will be received defensively. A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is. Nagging never works. We are never persuasive when we ’re abrasive. Do everything possible on our part to live in peace with everybody. Peace always has a price tag. Sometimes it costs our pride; it often costs our self-centeredness. For the sake of relationship do our best to compromise, adjust to one another, and show preference to what we need. We’re blessed when we can show ­people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when we discover who we really are.

Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant.

We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences. We often have legitimate, honest disagreements and differing opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable. The same diamond looks different from different angles. God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye on every issue. This doesn’t mean we give up on finding a solution. We may need to continue discussing and even debating — but we do it in a spirit of harmony. Reconciliation means we bury the hatchet, not necessarily the issue. Restoring relationship are simple, but they are not easy. It takes a lot of effort to restore a relationship. We need each other. We grow faster and stronger by learning from each other. Mind our own business” is not a Chris­tian phrase. We are called and commanded to be involved in each other’s lives.God wants us to love real people, not ideal ­people. Life is meant to be shared.God intends for us to experience life together. “Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.” ROMANS 12:18