There is nothing wrong with social media and vitual friendships, but it is no substitute for real, face-to-face friendships. We were created for friendship with God (Genesis 3:8) and with one another (Genesis 2:18).
Marriage is part of the solution to aloneness. Friendship, vital also in marriage, is a crucial part of the solution. ‘Friendship’ as C. S. Lewis writes, is the ‘crown of life and school of virtue’. Friendship multiplies joy and divides sorrow.
Jesus set an example of close friendship with men and women. He demonstrated that marriage is not the only solution to aloneness.
The Bible is very realistic. We see examples of relationships at their very best, but we also see examples of their frailty and failure.
How to develop great friendships.
1. Value partnerships
Mother Teresa said, ‘I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.’
We need good partnerships today. Married couples can be one example of partnership in ministry but it is not the only example. There are good reasons why Jesus sent his disciples out two by two. Ministry can be very lonely. Going out in pairs can make all the difference. This is how some of the greatest friendships are formed.
2. Guard friendships
The reality is that sometimes even Christian partnerships struggle and fail. God can bring hope into these situations: it is not the end of the world if Christians fall out and go their separate ways.
Guard your friendships. When there is a fallout, always seek reconciliation and remember that as Martin Luther King said, ‘Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.’
3. Prioritise loyalty
If you sow disloyalty, you will reap disloyalty. If you sow loyalty, you will reap loyalty. You show loyalty by your actions and your words. Be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, you will build the trust of those who are present.
However disloyal we are, God remains faithful to his promises. Even when we are disloyal to God or others, God is not disloyal to us. Even ‘if we are faithless, he will remain faithful’ (2 Timothy 2:13). God’s commitment and loyalty to you is such that nothing ‘will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord’ (Romans 8:39).
This is not a reason to be complacent, but it is a motive to delight again at God’s grace, and to give yourself to wholehearted worship. You can choose again to respond to God’s call on your life – ‘walk in my ways and do what is right in my eyes’ (1 Kings 11:38).
It is very nice when people stand up for you.
