Real fellowship whether in a marriage, a friendship, or our church, depends on frankness. In fact, the tunnel of conflict is a passageway to intimacy in any relationship. Until we care enough to confront and resolve the underlying barriers, we will never grow close to each other. When conflict is handled correctly, we grow closer to each other by facing and resolving our differences.
The Bible says, "In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery. "Frankness is not a license to say anything we want,wherever and whenever we want. It is not rudeness.
The Bible tells us there is a right time and right way to do everything. Thoughtless words leave lasting wounds. God tells us to speak to each other in the church as loving family members.
"Never use harsh words when we correct an older man, but talk to him as if he were our father. Talk to younger men as if they were our brothers, older women as if they were our mothers, and younger women as if they were our sisters. "
Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God. When we expect anyone a friend,spouse,boss, or family member-to meet a need that only God can fulfill we are settling ourselves up for disappointment and bitterness.
No one can meet all of our needs except God. The bible says "We want something but don't get it"...We do not have, because we do not ask God. "Instead of looking to God, we look to others to make us happy and then get angry when they fail us. God says, "Why don't we come to Him first? Discuss the problem with God. All our relationships would go smoother if we would just pray more about them.