Perfect (and easy) biblical and genuine friendship seems to be the last-to-die dream for many of us. We are friendly and sociable at a safe distance, but heart-level friendship? It’s too risky. Biblical and genuine friendship doesn’t happen according to our dream world, however. It’s not linear or static or formulaic. Biblical and genuine friendship is formed between imperfect people among the concrete and messy realities of life.

I’ve experienced deep relationships that have enriched my life beyond measure, pointed me toward Christ, and challenged me to grow. These relationships have taught me that biblical and geniune friendship is worth any struggle. Biblical friendship is distinct in that it brings the grace, forgiveness, and truth of Jesus into those messy realities. I want friendships that point me to grace and truth.

I don’t need to give up my desire for friendship, only my desire for the immature version of it—that relationships will be forever fun and easy, that I can sit back and relax. I have come to believe that my own excuses are one of our biggest obstacles to biblical and genuine friendship, but I think there is one greater: we don’t have an understanding of what true biblical and genuine friendship is or how God designed it.

Biblical and genuine friendship mean dealing biblically with our inevitable hurts, being quick to forgive, crossing life-stage boundaries, and refusing to give up on people even when they disappoint us, and must be willing to address sin and conflict in an appropriate way. Biblical and genuine friendship look to serve rather than be served.

Paul offers us a definition for friendship in Colossians 3. He exhorts us to actively pursue being a godly friend to others—to actively pursue being patient, forgiving, loving, and thankful. The focus is on what we give to others, not what they give to us. We don’t do these things because we hope to get something in return. We do these things because that is how Christ showed his love toward us and because biblical friendship will always model itself after Him.

A rich opportunity for biblical and genuine friendship exists when we reject the ideal wish-dream, then understand God’s design for biblical and genuine friendship, and embrace those imperfect person who are right in front of us.

FRIENDSHIP IS MESSY BUT EVEN IN IT’S MESSINESS IT IS BEAUTIFUL INDEED

Biblical and genuine friendship seems such a rarity to find and such a fragile joy when we’ve found it, doesn’t it? Glad i found one. She is a greater blessing money can't buy

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:12-15‬ ‭NIV